George Clooney has already found Sarah Larson’s replacement. A source says Clooney “has been dating a woman in her mid-30s” for months now, even before he split with Larson. The source also claims Clooney knew he was going to leave Larson months ago, and let her do interviews and some modeling to “get her a career” before the split. Larson also got some new breasts. Clooney’s ex-girlfriend Sarah Larson has been named the face of fashion designer Christian Audigier’s new line. 

Kid Rock was rushed to the hospital on Friday afternoon in England just before he was scheduled to perform at the U.K.’s Download Festival. Kid’s spokesperson later announced that Kid was suffering from stomach cramps and dehydration. Neither Kid, nor his camp, have issued any further comment on his condition. According to British sources, Kid was out late partying in London the night before.

Mark Wahlberg has passed on the opportunity to join The Funky Bunch reunion. Mark began his career as an underwear model for Calvin Klein before going on to front the early ’90s hip-hop group Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch. Now, at 37 years-old, he passed on the chance to join the Funky Bunch for their planned comeback tour. Mark said he was too old. He said: “I wish them well, but rap is a young man’s game.” 

Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo spoke about those reports that Joe Simpson was interfering with his relationship with Jessica Simpson. Tony released a statement saying, “It’s all laughable.” Romo said the characterization is “so far from the truth.” A source also confirmed that Romo’s father, Ramiro, went to the Masters golf tournament in Augusta, GA, with Joe Simpson earlier this year and “had a great time.” 

Ben Affleck’s wife Jennifer Garner accidentally locked her keys in her Lexus SUV while shopping this week in Brentwood, California, with daughter Violet. Worse News, the two year-old was in the car, holding the only key. Panic set in, but not for long, as Violet was able to eventually follow Garner’s instructions on how to push the button to open the door. 
 

I know you’re sitting there trying not to bug your cubicle mates, so I’m here with a solution for you because admit it, the paper football wasn’t the best idea but how did you know that it was going to end up in someone’s eye.  That stuff really isn’t suppose to happen.  Here is a nifty little video game from the boys of the Last Goodnight.  You can drive their van, and pick up their instruments and try to make it to the venue in time!  It’s perfect for you to fill up your free time and keep flying objects out of other’s eyeballs.  Enjoy! Click here to play.

This probably explains a lot– in regards to Jennifer Aniston, and her much younger beau John Mayer. A pal of the 30-year old singer-songwriter tells OK! mag, “John is good in bed. Not just good, but sensational. Every girl I know who has slept with John says it was the best sex of their life. I’m not sure what exactly he does in bed, but after girls sleep with him, they’re ruined. They get totally hung up on him and want more. Whatever John’s secret is, he should market it. He could retire from the music industry.” 
 
Katherine Heigl, the best supporting actress last year for “Grey’s Anatomy”, has quit this year’s Emmy race. She said: “I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the academy organization, I withdrew my name from contention. “In addition, I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such materials.” Woah! Is that a slam at the “Grey’s Anatomy” writers? 

Rolling Stone mag is reporting that Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee have reconciled. Tommy told the magazine at a Motley Crue rehearsal, “Pamela and the kids have moved in with me.” And he was “beaming.” Pam and Tommy have two sons, Brandon and Dylan. Tommy said, “It’s awesome, man. It’s definitely working. You can tell on the kids’ faces — they’re happy when we’re together.” Here’s to hoping they can keep it together this time. As Lee said, “We’ve only given it a try 800 times — 801, here we go.”
 
If you’re wondering why Nicole Richie and Joel Madden still aren’t married it might be because Nicole is not a Christian. The “National Enquirer” claims Joel won’t marry Nicole until she converts to Christianity. A so-called “source” says, “Joel is determined not to marry Nicole until she asks forgiveness for her sins and is willing to raise [their daughter] Harlow with the same religious upbringing that he had. “Joel may look like a rebel, but the truth is he is an old-fashioned conservative guy with hardcore Christian beliefs.”
 
Oprah Winfrey tops Forbes’ annual Celebrity 100 list again this year, based on both earnings and fame. Despite falling television ratings and magazine circulation, Oprah earned $275 million before taxes in the past 12 months (June 2007-2008), and she’s still one of the most famous faces in the world. No. 2? Tiger Woods. 

So… if you love guacomole and you love chocolate then this should be right up your alley.  I don’t cook so you’ll have to tell me how it is…

Mraz’s Chocomole Recipe:

Note: This will make a huge bowl big enough for a family of four. You’ll want to share this with friends.

Mash up 5 ripened avocados

Add 1 - 2 cups of chopped or blended dates

1 soft cup of raw cacao

1 easy cup of raw carob powder

1 tbsp. vanilla

Add a few long pours of agave nectar to sweeten to liking

Then add half cups of cocoa and keep adding until chocolate taste is right. Careful not to overdo it — if you add too much, it can get bitter.

Enjoy!!!

Here are 10 of the top April Fool’s Day pranks ever pulled off, as judged by the San Diego-based Museum of Hoaxes for their notoriety, absurdity, and number of people duped.

– In 1957, a BBC television show announced that thanks to a mild winter and the virtual elimination of the spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. Footage of Swiss farmers pulling strands of spaghetti from trees prompted a barrage of calls from people wanting to know how to grow their own spaghetti at home.

– In 1985, Sports Illustrated magazine published a story that a rookie baseball pitcher who could reportedly throw a ball at 270 kilometers per hour (168 miles per hour) was set to join the New York Mets. Sid Finch was said to have mastered his skill — pitching significantly faster than anyone else has ever managed — in a Tibetan monastery. Mets fans’ celebrations were short-lived.

– Sweden in 1962 had only one television channel, which broadcast in black and white. The station’s technical expert appeared on the news to announce that thanks to a newly developed technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to receive color pictures by pulling a nylon stocking over the screen. In fact, they had to wait until 1970.

– In 1996, Fast-food chain Taco Bell announced that it had bought Philadelphia’s Liberty Bell, a historic symbol of American independence, from the federal government and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell.

Outraged citizens called to express their anger before Taco Bell revealed the hoax. Then-White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale and said the Lincoln Memorial in Washington had also been sold and was to be renamed the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial after the automotive giant.

– In 1977, British newspaper The Guardian published a seven-page supplement for the 10th anniversary of San Serriffe, a small republic located in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semicolon-shaped islands. A series of articles described the geography and culture of the two main islands, named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse.

– In 1992, US National Public Radio announced that Richard Nixon was running for president again. His new campaign slogan was, “I didn’t do anything wrong, and I won’t do it again.” They even had clips of Nixon announcing his candidacy. Listeners flooded the show with calls expressing their outrage. Nixon’s voice actually turned out to be that of impersonator Rich Little.

– In 1998, a newsletter titled New Mexicans for Science and Reason carried an article that the state of Alabama had voted to change the value of pi from 3.14159 to the “Biblical value” of 3.0.

– Burger King published a full-page advertisement in USA Today in 1998 announcing the introduction of the “Left-Handed Whopper,” specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new burger included the same ingredients as the original, but the condiments were rotated 180 degrees. The chain said it received thousands of requests for the new burger, as well as orders for the original “right-handed” version.

– Discover Magazine announced in 1995 that a highly respected biologist, Aprile Pazzo (Italian for April Fool), had discovered a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. The creatures were described as having bony plates on their heads that became burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speed — a technique they used to hunt penguins.

– Noted British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on the radio in 1976 that at 9:47 am, a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event, in which Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, would cause a gravitational alignment that would reduce the Earth’s gravity. Moore told listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment of the planetary alignment, they would experience a floating sensation. Hundreds of people called in to report feeling the sensation.

John Mayer loves baseball… but he should stick to singing and songwriting.  Branching out isn’t always the best idea- no matter who you are!  Here he is calling a game the other day in Japan… and that happens…  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lrrx5CgdZaA

Time to update your Christmas card list and stockpile stamps.  Apparently, we’re all related to each other.  Or at least that’s what some people with too much time on their hands from the New England Historic Genealogical Society in Boston say. 

But wait it gets better.  They diagrammed trees for the two democratic presidential hopefuls and concluded, Hillary Clinton is a distant cousin of Madonna, Celine Dion & Alanis Morrissette.  Barack on the other hand is a distant cousin of six presidents including Dubya.

I hope I’m related to Steve Madden.  And Victoria… I’ve always wanted to know what the h*ll her secret is and I’d much rather get underwear from her than Grandma.  No offense Grandma, but ya know…

If you haven’t heard of “Chocolate Rain”… in about 30 seconds from now you’re either going to love me or want to gouge my eyes out for putting this little ditty in your head.  Having said that, this “masterpiece” has won the YouTube award for Best Music Video in 2007. 

And now, I present to you, singing sensation Tay Zonday and his award winning video “Chocolate Rain”. 

Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA

Oh Amy.  What have you done to yourself?   

Since Jennifer White posted the scariest pic of Amy Winehouse EVER, I thought I would be the “yang” to her “ying” post the most amazing Amy Winehouse pic… Amy before the crack, Blake, tats, charcoal eyeliner, blood stained ballet flats, flesh eating disease and that chinchilla that sits on top of her head where she probably stores her afore mentioned eyeliner, crack and for all we know Blake is stuffed up in there too.

Yeah, I forgot to wear green…  so to make up for my indiscretion I’m posting a list of 9 people and 1 thing that are even more useless than I am.  And, I thought the “Guinness” was a nice tie in too…

#8 Greatest Distance Thrown in a Car Accident: Matthew McKnight- 118 Feet

#7 The Longest Ear Hair Dude: 11.5 cm

#6 Largest Collection of Traffic Cones: David Morgan- 137

#5 Greatest Distance Moonwalked in One Hour: Krunoslav Budiselic- 3.265 miles

#4 Longest Trading Card Marathon: William Stone, Bryan Erwin and Christopher Groetzinger traded Lord of the Rings Cards- 128 hours

#3 Most Functional Folding Knife: Wei Ge Knife- 87 tools w/ 141 intended functions

#2 Most Snails on a Face: Alastair Galpin- 8… but he also has records for the Longest Handshake (9 hours), Gluing The Most Rhinestones To The Body (31,680), Wearing Most Socks On One Foot (70), and Licking The Most Stamps In One Minute (57)

#1 Oldest Male Stripper: Bernie Barker-67