Oh hell to the no!
Monday, February 23rd, 2009
Alright. Who’s bright idea is this mess to the left? Seriously? I mean look at it! Are you kidding me? Pegged jeans! Seriously?! I mean, they’re pegged jeans! PEGGED JEANS!!! I can only pray that this is just an accident and what they’re really trying to show us is that this model has freshly shaven legs. Or, maybe we’re supposed to take a closer look at the fine craftsmanship of the ankle strap on the shoe. Yes. I’m sure that’s it because pegging your jeans is not acceptable people. Ever. It was only cute on you when you were 10 and dressed like Punky Brewster. 1985 is over. MOVE ON. And don’t think that because Katie Holmes was traipsing around NY, like, a couple of months ago like this- that it’s okay to do. Oh hell to the no! Just put down the hemline and walk away. Ugh.
So, what’s the “favorite 4-letter ‘F’ word”. Well, F-R-E-E of course. Why, what were you thinking? Geez. Well for the band’s summer and autum tour, Chris Martin thought it would be pretty damn cool to give every Coldplay concert-goer a free live album. In an interview recently he said, “It’s a way of saying ‘thank you’… it’s a tough economy and people are paying a lot of money for tickets.” So, how will this all work? Well, there are some technicalities that would need to be ironed out but the band imagines a scenario where you wander in to a venue and hand over your ticket at the door and are then given the recording as a FREE gift. Now that’s freakin’ cool! Viva la Coldplay!
Kelly Clarkson has become my American Idol all over again. Wanna know why? Well, I’m gonna tell you why- and because you’re still reading confirms my hunch that you really DO want to know why. Or maybe you’re just being polite. I embrace Kelly Clarkson because that chick embraces her cellulite! And in doing so she spilled Hollywood’s best kept secret. Hallelujah! Kelly recently said that ALL (and I’m underlining this here folks along with tiny little stars and arrows surrounding it in a variety of pen ink colors) of Hollywood has cellulite. So what is their secret? Why are there hundreds of Ugg clad minions walking around Robertson Avenue in a size 2? Well, THAT would be what general society calls an “eating disorder”. Now, as for those flawless physiques we see plastered across every magazine known to man… that would be help from none other than the Photoshop Gods. And Kelly will be the first to tell you that “yes” she has had help from the P.G. and “yes” she has cellulite. She went on to say that there are no fem-bots in Hollywood (although I beg to differ… i.e. Katie Holmes) only real people armed with a gifted or at least marginally talented graphic designer. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not about to run around work in a bathing suit nor am I above employing a P.G. of my own but Kelly has done tons for my self-esteem. I heart Kelly Clarkson!
